You are loved anyway, a more touchy feely post.

I have faced some pretty difficult things over the last few months. I have be in the middle of an extremely unhelpful conflict. I have had poorly children and I myself have required corrective surgery for a vasectomy. It has been rocky! Nothing like being prodded in the testicles to help you to reflect on how you are doing!

Emotionally, I am drained, physically, I am worn and spiritually...my tank is empty. I find myself being extremely reactive. I am short tempered and also extremely emotional. I have had a difficult time with missing our lost twin. As I write this, I cannot help but acknolwedge that I feel overwhelmed.

I am currently leading a ministry at my church. This is forcing me to spend time in the Bible even when I don't want to. I have to lead my team spiritually and with the expectations that the bible places on me. We are all called to live amicably, in unison and to glorify God. Paul is hugely convicted in sharing this as well as the true gospel. Jesus died for us as we are, for our sins committed and yet to commit. We must then submit to him and repent from our sins. I am not a teacher, but go read those letters to churches and to Timothy. All good for us when we are feeling like failures.

I think, over the past few weeks, I have felt inadequate. I have compared myself to people, ministries and things that are far wiser, more established and further along their journey than myself. In 1 Timothy chapter 2, Paul talks about how the act of worshipping is for ''everyone''. This chapter is talking about men, women and also us sinners. When I am ashamed, I can go to the Lord. When I am weary I need to go to my brothers and sisters in Christ. I am called to live my life with them, this means in the good and especially the bad. Emotions are complex, sometimes I feel worried about being prideful and then other times I feel worthless. Let me encourage anyone who ends up reading this. You are loved. You will fall over and over again. God knows our hearts, He knows where we are and how we truly feel. This is not a call to say believe and problems go away, but that sometimes knowing that life is not about me is good enough to lift me to action is sorting myelf out sometimes. God is the center of my life. He is my strength. I hope you can feel this too!

God Bless,